In the article on, "A Course in Miracles is Brotherhood," we discussed the key metaphysical ideas used by the ego portion of the split mind for separation. By viewing others as separate, and using the ego to replace the love of God, we end up in special love or hate relationships. Ultimately, to see another as a brother means we must give up all judgments because we now choose to see the truth about them and ourselves. You can only see who your brothers are, and by default who you are, through relinquishing what you judged and made true through error. Error hides truth. Seeing is knowing which reveals truth.
The ego uses a variety of predictable patterns because the basis of its thought system is judgment whose origin stems from sin, fear and guilt. Judgment is always one or the other. As you perceive a brother through judgment, you will project and judge on that brother until you perceive the results back. Once those results are perceived, you will use perception repeatedly to project and judge them even more.
Unfortunately, this uses both sides of the ego wrong mind and compounds the original error until the truth is well hidden. Handing over judgments for correction (forgiveness) stops the cycle.
The ego uses special love and hate relationships, as well as specialness (being different), to keep the illusion of separation going. Use of these types of relationships as cause, is also the ego mind as cause; and the effect is to continue separation between brothers because they are based on the original separation. Remember cause and effect: The mind you choose from, as cause, will result in the corresponding consequences (effect).
This is not about you having to be alone or avoid relationships in life. It is, however, all about how you enter and use them within the mind.
The choice that will set you free is to choose to have your relationships be Holy Relationships. You must be the person practicing forgiveness in all of your relationships, even if you are the only one. It is "special" until you turn it "Holy." To see another as a brother, a prerequisite to going home, is True Perception which shines a light of truth on you both. The ego cannot prevail against Oneness because it is not real.
Form and Content:
A Course in Miracles (acim) is very clear that form does not matter. There is nothing in ACIM about behavior and when you judge a brother on his or her behavior, that is the same side of the ego mind. They may be acting from the ego "wrong" mind; but you are judging from the ego "right" mind. To the ego, one judgment is the same as any other.